Hoons, according to what we are told, are generally a younger group of unskilled drivers with nocturnal habits of an anti-social nature – no wonder the police never seem able to catch the most hard-core of them.

But given the facts (as we’ve been told) about hoons; what happens to them as they get older and cease to be labelled hoons? Do they truly ever stop being a hoon, or do they just become a hoon-elder, living a life of comfort in a retirement home for hoons, reminiscing with their fellow hoon elders about their glory days (and nights) of terrorising neighbourhoods, of peeling skids in deserted industrial estates; perhaps bragging about their best donut, the toughest roundabout they ever drifted, the best street-race they ever nearly won.

Maybe they muse about their graduation from a single-pegger to a welded diff, or argue the merits of winding off the back brakes, the thrill of seeing a dozen hoon cars congregated in a suburban service station – all riveting topics in hoon culture.

Or do they settle-down with Mrs Hoon in the very suburbia they terrorised for so many years, raising a brood of little hoons to assure that hoons do indeed have a future; to assure that they never become so rare as to be placed on the endangered species list.

Do they bother to hide the fact from their anti-hoon neighbours that they were once hoons, or do they become affectionately known as ‘the retired hoon next-door’ – perhaps ‘ex hoon next-door’; or do they just think of themselves as hoons who no-longer hoon. Maybe they are ex hoons who dream of one day soon becoming accepted as an old hoon and being worshiped by younger hoons as a shining example of a hoon who finally made it; a legend, nay, a god amongst hoons – a mentor for the next generation of hoons…

Like an ageing rock star, will they cruise the streets of their long-ago haunts hoping to be pulled into a police operation targeting hoons, reliving the long-ago rush of being defected, paying their impoundment fees and fines, hoping to once again star on A Current Affair, the ultimate tribute to hoons, and made to look like a complete dick.

Ah, to be a hoon…